Beautiful and heavy duty
I'm an adult creator, and this machine is absolutely perfect for the work I do! I'm going to break this review down in sections but the short version is: THIS IS WORTH YOUR MONEY! THEY COULD BE CHARGING MORE FOR IT! Packaging: This thing is beautifully packaged! The machine itself comes heavily padded in foam, and the box containing the machine is nested inside two other durable boxes - even a hard drop during transit should be totally fine for this beast. The machine comes in its own compact travel bag, and is very well-organized - there's even a little cutout in the foam for the included allen keys, which I thought was a cute touch. Assembly: Putting the machine together is surprisingly easy. Each section of the 'legs' were shrinkwrapped to protect the finish I'm guessing? But it was easy to remove the wrap and put everything together. I'm not very strong, but the machine wasn't too heavy for me at all. And it's sturdy! You can really tell as you assemble it - this thing could practically take a bullet. I would say it probably took like ten minutes for me to put everything together? And that was without reading the instructions, haha. The only part I needed the instructions for was attaching the tube that connects the toy and the machine - it screws into the machine which is really cool because originally I assumed it was only held in by a clamp, which wouldn't have been very sturdy. This thing is built STRONG! Appearance: I chose the pink color for this machine, and I'm so happy I did! I previously owned a black model of an almost-identical machine, but the pink suits me even better and looks so cute. This thing screams 'quality,' on and off-camera. Functionality: Ok, so I know looks aren't everything so let me tell you: this thing GOES. Whatever motor is in there is very powerful, and it drives that piston wonderfully. Even turned up to the highest setting, the machine barely vibrates or rocks back and forth, which is a common issue for cheaper machines like this. The weight of this machine works in its favor and it works well. The stroke length is adjustable (but not while the machine is running), and you can set it to thrust just a little bit or a whole lot. It works kind of like wheels on an old train, with a motor rotating an arm which then drives a piston. The power cord and controls plug into the opposite side of the machine, and the actual mechanism is relatively contained - I guess it is theoretically possible to get it tangled, but I don't see how. Noise: This thing is so much quieter than it has any right to be. It's not silent, but it's not loud at all - the engine makes a soft whining noise, and when it gets up to higher speeds it can bump a little bit back and forth. But seriously - you're going to be making SO much more noise than the machine is when it's up at those speeds, if you know what I'm saying. Controls: The other model that I owned had a fully analog dial, and I love the new digital dial on this machine. It just looks cool, like something you'd see in a mech or a submarine. I like how clear the function is, and how bright the numbers are - you can use this in the dark, no problem. Accessories: Because I ordered the 'gift set,' the machine came with four toys in addition to the one in the box with the machine. There's a beige kind of 'standard' dildo, a large tentacle, a kind of medium size candy corn-looking thing, a metal textured dildo, and a chargeable (I assume vibrating?) fleshlight-type thing. All of the toys have the patented 'KlicLok' connector attached to them (but as I learned, the connector can be unscrewed if you want to use the toy like a regular suction cup dildo - useful)! The toys are well-made and there's a good variety here - I haven't tried the fleshlight one, but I can say that the other ones are amazing and feel... good, to keep it PG. Everything cleans easily with soap and water. I really like the KlicLok system because it lets you set the direction of the toy and it holds it in that orientation - you'll never run into an issue of a toy turning upside down while it's moving. It's just an aesthetic thing that I really like. And I hate the way that Vac-U-Lock toys take so much strength to disconnect... the KlicLok connector is so much better because it has a simple quick-release. Zero effort to attach and remove, even with slippery hands. Final thoughts: I'm really really glad I bought this machine. Hismith makes good products, and this thing is going to last forever, I can tell. And it's going to make me money too, which is like the number one important thing I could say about a machine like this - it's an investment, but it's a worthwhile one. Read more
