All Others Are Left Behind, This Is Her New Number 1 --- by Far
Yowzers. I've been replaced. I bought this toy for my wife ---- she'd been using basic, hard, cylindrical buzzer toys for years, and we happened to see that there are all kinds of new and different toys the likes of which we'd never seen, and she wanted to try something different. But before I talk about this toy, I'm gonna talk about another toy. The first "different/new" kind of toy we got was a JoyHub licking/biting/sucking/flapping/g spot vibrator. She fell in love. Instantly. It was 100 times better than hard plastic tube that vibrates, or a typical fake d. On this new toy, I was at the controls at first, learning how to work the buttons, finding what she liked. She decided to take over after a few minutes, and wow she rocked her own world! She named that new toy Miss Lick. Miss Lick is apparently really into Asian chicks (and was literally into my wife), because she worked absolute magic on my wife. My wife and Miss Lick hung out together a few times over the next couple weeks; sometimes with me, sometimes without (some partners might not like that; I say she can do whatever makes her feel good as much as she wants). They became close. It was sweet. I saw how much she loved this new kind of toy, and I happy and psyched and excited and really glad she got so much pleasure from it - but I told her not to replace me! I still enjoy satisfying her in that manner that Miss Lick is now doing. But I was being replaced. Or you could say my hours were cut from being a full-time employee, down to a part-timer. Now my job duties were limited to doing the open, to be the designated opener, you know, the person who comes in first, uncovering what needs to be uncovered, getting the place warmed up to the perfect temperature, making sure the moisture content is juuuust right. It was a change, going from F/T to P/T. Now I was just needed for opening duties, and I'd perform them very well and diligently, but then she'd tell me that the opening was completed, and that I'm done for now. Next time someone is needed for opening duties, she counts on me, she reminded me. So I got in there and did the opening, got everything ready for a great time to be had by all, and suddenly my work is done. I'd be asked to move to the side and I was more than welcome to watch as my she brought in Miss Lick to finish the rest of the hours, and perform the closing. I used to be the one to close, and I really liked it! But I really like the watching part, how satisfied she is with Miss Lick's performance, so there's that. I like to see Miss Lick really do a great job on the owner of the place, which makes the owner quite happy and fulfilled and satisfied. So my wife got acquainted with Miss Lick, and she really enjoyed this amazing new toy. She got to thinking that a little variety is nice, and that she wanted to try another toy that is new and advanced and different from the old type. So we ordered THIS item, the 5in1 Rose toy, the page for which you're on right now, it's the device I'm reviewing. Well, it would be if I ever got to it. Y'know what? Let me get to it. This toy is very similar to Miss Lick in the functions it performs, but it doesn't have the "extension/insertion" part. You know what I mean: the mouth part of Miss Lick does it's work pretty much on the outside, while the extension part is more of an inside type, and likes to keep running in and out, at the place riiiiight underneath where the mouth is working. So did she like the new one? Yes. No. Wait. To simply say "yes" is an understatement. Did she like it? Ohhhhh yeah, yes, absolutely, she absolutely did like it, yup yup, it may have altered her brain chemistry. I'd go so far as to say she loves it. Not in a romantic manner. As in passion. Lust. Hunger. Need. Addiction. That kinda love. Note emotional, romantic love, but the kind of "love" you have for something that you deeply, truly enjoy, something that is your favorite thing of any of those kinda things. The thing you never want to lose. My wife named this new toy Rosie Suck. Way back a couple weeks before when my wife first started getting deep into Miss Lick (actually, Miss Lick got deep into my wife), Miss Lick sent her straight to the moon. But Rosie Suck? Rosie Suck sent her to a different dimension! My wife thought Miss Lick was unbelievable and did things to her that couldn't be beat and rated Miss Lick a 10 ---- but when Rosie Suck came along, she had to keep Miss Lick at a 10, but give Rosie a 20! She now fell totally in love with Rosie Suck! Oh, she still loves me and loves Miss Lick, but Miss Lick is now relegated to occasional duty, just like me. Yeah, sure, we get to do a little work now and then, but we never get to do a complete job. We don't get to do closing anymore. Every time we're working hard, really giving it our all, then we're told a replacement is coming in, so lay back and watch (which, again, is f.ng hot). Her first time with Rosie Suck --- I was at the controls. Pressing this button, pressing that, trying the different patterns of vibration and buzzing and licking and nibbling, finding what made her blurt out "oh yeah, THAT one." She was totally down for Rosie Suck! There was one button that I kept pressing, but seemed not to do anything. My wife didn't feel anything change when I pressed it, either. I picked Rosie up and looked at her moving and buzzing areas, and I pressed the button once or twice. Nothing. I saw nothing change. Then I thought about the power button, how it required a long press to turn Rosie Suck on or off. So I gave this mystery button a really long press, and that was it! Mystery solved! It's to control the little vacuum/sucking feature. As long as you hold the button, it keeps that sucking going continuously. Now fully up on things, Rosie once again buried her face into my wife (Rosie also seems to really be into Asian chicks, but not literally "into" them, the way Miss Lick is) and responded perfectly to my use of the buttons. I gave the sucking feature a try by holding down that button. My wife was really enjoying all other features going on, but she felt and liked this new sensation. One thing to note, though, to get the sucking to work, you need to get a good seal, so you've gotta place the toy directly on the area it's intended for, and put some firm pressure against it. Just push Rosie Suck's face right in there, make sure there are no gaps, and press and go! Rosie loves it, my wife loves it, if my wife had a girlfriend she would love it, if I had a girlfriend she would love it, we'd all be cheering and laughing and singing songs of praise to Rosie! So yeah, the initial learning phase is complete. Not an expert on its use by any means, but I know on/off, how to change buzzing patterns, how to generate the suck that Rosie Suck is meant to provide. I know enough just to be effective. Enough that my wife enjoys it. Oh does she enjoy it. She REALLY quite enjoys it. "I'm ready," she tells me, "give her to me," and she holds out her hand. I was having fun, and I reluctantly hand over Rosie Suck. But I'm not sad; I'm in a state of great relaxation and enjoyment and serenity, my mind and body cheered by knowing the magic I'm about to watch. She asked me to explain the buttons, so I started to, but I got maybe 5 seconds into explaining when she said "that's alright" and told me to move away from my happy place. She needed room for Rosie. She'd already felt what Rosie could do when in my hands, and she was hot and wet and eager to find out what Rosie could do in her own hands. It's true the old saying about wanting a job done right, especially on a job like this: no one can do it better than you. You're the only one who knows exactly what move you want to make, so all the moves are the right moves. So she's got Rosie and she's putting Rosie to work. She tried the suck/vacuum feature (in all honesty, she told me afterwards that it was a bit too powerful. I told her it only sucks while you hold the button, but I can't remember if we ever resolved it). Regardless, she definitely still uses that button when she brings Rosie 'round to visit her (it seems like Rosie comes over and awful lot), so she must not be too opposed to it! So anyway, back to the first time she met Rosie Suck. There we were, she's controlling Rosie, it's a couple hours since check-in, we're laying on a wonderful, luxurious king bed, we're up on the 27th floor of a hotel with a room that has floor to ceiling windows, left wide open uncovered, a city beyond the glass to look out at, a really great setting. Our window faced away from the bulk of the city, so we were the tallest building as in that direction as far as the eye could see. If somebody wanted to watch, they'd really have to intend to watch, not accidentally seeing into our room. You'd have to use effort to see in. Sure, someone could see in with good binocs or a telescope. But if someone really wanted to watch THAT bad, they were that dedicated to it, we say, let em watch! We're never gonna meet 'em (hmmmm... I just thought of something as I typed that part about "binocs or a telescope." Something else popped into my head --- binocs, telescope... or a camera with a good zoom. Huh. Didn't think of that until I am writing this. So yeah, I probably would have closed the drapes if I thought of it sooner. Maybe in addition to reading this review (if anyone's toughed it out this long), maybe you'll get to see a video posted to the by some random voyeur took of us actually testing the toy out. If you run across it, enjoy! Yup, we are def closing the drapes from now on). But she and I, with that gorgeous view and the city stretching beyond our window, we were only looking at two things: me looking at her using Rosie, and she looking at nothing but the inside of her eyelids. Her eyes closed, head tilted back, that look of ecstasy on her face, you know that look, the look someone can't help but to wear when they're pure pleasure, THAT was the look of ecstasy that was on her face. That look. Now, I don't write too good, and I use ten times as many words as I need to get around to saying what I wanna say, and fifty times more than that to get to saying what needs to be said, so in the occasion of my long-windedness, it may seem like she's been enjoying her first time with Rosie for quite a little while since I handed Rosie over to her. Might seem like she's been laying on that bed for 20 minutes, building up that ecstasy that has a hold on her. It's only been about 40 seconds. She used Rosie Suck for about 40 seconds, and that was it, their first date ended ---- it and ended very happily for my wife. That's how good this toy is. Yes, I spent a couple minutes first using Rosie on my wife, but I didn't bring her right to the edge. She absolutely loved what was being done to her, but she was still not close to a big O when she asked me to hand it over. Then --- 40 seconds, that's all it took. It took 40 seconds of her using this toy for it to take her into another other dimension, then exploding like a giant supernova, a wave of heat and fire and passion. Once she returned to this dimension, I asked how she liked Rosie Suck. A low, devilish laugh was her answer. I asked how she liked it compared to Miss Lick. She said "ohhhhh it's the best." It's been a couple weeks since we first used it. We've used it together a couple of times since then. Does she still like it? Let's put it this way: since we got those two new toys, she's been keeping them next to her side of the bed. I'm a heavy sleeper, and noises no matter how loud rarely wake me up. Since she put those toys there, I've been keeping an eye on how the boxes were positioned. She enjoyed this toy so much that I wondered if she'd go solo with it on occasion. I've noticed several times over the past couple of weeks that the Rosie Suck's storage box has changed position. Miss Lick's box underneath it hasn't moved. Just Rosie's. She wouldn't bump into the boxes, there's no reason for Rosie's box to move. Unless someone was picking that box up. After the third or fourth time I noticed it, I started laughing, and asked her about it. Yes she's been putting Rosie to good use. If she wakes up in the middle of the night and can't fall right back to sleep, Rosie comes to comfort her. If she wakes up in the morning but doesn't feel like getting out of bed immediately, there was a day or two where Rosie comes to lay with her. And me, I'm just sleeping through it all. Missing it all! This is the best toy she's ever used. She loves it. It satisfies her, it makes her feel soooo good. I don't mind if she uses it every day, if it makes her happy, makes her feel good, she deserves it. And the best days are the days she asks me to use it on her (but only for a little while, she always steps in to do closing duties), or she tells me to enjoy the show. Yeah, those are good days. I told her that on occasion we need to ensure some of her oral care is done the old fashioned way. There's no way I can compete with these machines, but for a human, I'm darn good at it! But I'm happy for her to visit with Miss Lick and Rosie Suck anytime she wants. Poor Miss Lick.... my wife enjoys Rosie Suck so much that Miss Lick hasn't come out of her box since Rosie moved in! Get this toy. There's a high chance you're gonna absolutely love it. Read more