We called her Fifi as a joke but the joke was on us...
We didn't take this purchase lightly. It was an act of desperation. Before we got this we talked to the vet and a very unhelpful, expensive animal behavioralist. Duke is a pillow humping terror... Nothing works. If we hide the pillows, he goes after what ever gets the job done. Our dog was wrecking our sanity and sofa. So we made a decision that reflected the state of my sanity. We bought Fifi as a last ditch effort to redirect his behavior. It worked too well... He guarded her like she was his life savings. If I approached her, he would growl, stiffen his lips, and do that aggressive licking thing... When I slowly stepped away he would drag her to his bed with guilty side eyes and ears pinned back in shame. It was like a madman with a shameful obsession. We thought cleaning would be difficult and gross. Nothing gloves and memory suppression couldn't handle, right? Cleanings were more like war that lasted the longest and most shameful weekend of my life. Every few hours he would enjoy his new toy... I unfortunately understand the "hey it smells weird in here" look he makes more than I ever imagined possible and I absolutely hate it. Even with two people, getting that thing away from him was a military operation. He would growl and take a low stance while hoarding her under his paws, averting his eyes in shame, and aggressively snapping if we tried to remove the toy from his death grip. We took turns giving in about who had to clean it with vinegar, gloves, and a N95 mask because we will not be responsible for explaining how a new disease was created. When we gave it back he would take it lightly in his teeth, still averting his gaze, and sulk in the corner before gaining the courage and audacity to begin the horrible cycle again. Traded nonstop destruction for possessive shame fests that smelled like a Burning Man red light district. I've never regretted a purchase more in my life. Not even student loans are this bad. Back to the chaos I knew.... I'll pay that greedy animal behaviorist anything. We didn't want to resort to medication but we'll be going in next week for doggie Prozac. Read more