What a steaming turd. thus is just Hate Yourself: The Game
BLUF: a crappy tweeny bopper psuedo reality show that starts off at a near rolling boil, then goes absolutely nowhere. this is the video game definition of a cliffhanger with no followup. this is Edging: the VG. save your money. I love Aksys games. i loved 999. I also loved dangonronpa. so a dangonronpa inspired mystery made by Aksys?!?! thats the reeses in my peanut butter. what was instead excreted into my lap was a watery hollow drama about strangers on a deserted island. NO LAWS, NO ESCAPE, as it says on the box. what does that mean? a taut mystery/thriller? a "and then there were none" death match? how about wordle? asteroids? a rhythm game where you catch fish? for hours and hours you slog through the characters whiny drama waiting for the meat of the game to arrive. they talk about locked rooms, poisonous plants, soundproof buildings, deadly allergies, and your quivering with anticipation for when the first body drops.... and unless theyre literally waiting for you to play past 5... FIVE HOURS.... of empty drama and characters whining about missing their family or SO or dog.... and nothing... nothing... nothing happens. the only "tension"? finish building an outdoor spa before Halloween, or you wont get any treats in your next delivery. no, im not making that up. Im going to finish it, because you cant return digital purchases, but damn, this is a slimy smear over a producer that delivers mind bending if slightly flawed jewels. this is sand. just miles and miles of sand. The MC is almost what makes this drop to zero stars. He's supposed to feel like a suit you can fit in, and while the narrative requires some choices are out of your hands, but in this, youre forced to be Shinji, if you get that reference. Scared? cry. Tired? hide. Someone yelling? Cry and hide. Theres no control, no growth, nothing redeemable. You literally, and again, not exaggerating, sleep through half the game. Youre tired from all the crying and hiding after all. Update: the mystery starts apparently at hour 5.5. But that almost makes my condemnation worse. The mystery is a small handful of VN guesswork to pick out the handful of links that the developers included, theres no actual murder mystery gameplay, and zero puzzles of any substance. The premise for this was so laughably off target. If its a weird drama VN, just say that. 999 was puzzles, Dangonronpa is dark Law and Order. This is neither of those. Someone is the audience for cast away with a random selection of Epcot actors, but pretending this was what it was advertised as feels deceptive. And every ending is awful. not just awful. the whole game sets you up as this wretch that you despise by the end. the romance plot is a guide to relationship abuse, making you a deluded mysognist. the murder plot is hackneyed and nonsensical. the trust plot is the only one that has a shred of value, but its literally the saccarine my little pony ending. ugh.... this has gone from bad down to just.... ugh.... ive never had a game from a company i adored thats made me cringe this hard at the thought of trying another of their products. Read more
