The State of Affairs

Mating in Captivity

Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

Esther Perel

With a New Preface by the Author "The world's best-known relationship expert."- The New York Times "Makes fewer promises and raises thornier questions than any other how-to-improve -your-relationship book. . . which is exactly why you should read this one." --ELLE A special twentieth-anniversary edition of the internationally bestselling and culturally groundbreaking book that cemented Esther Perel as the iconic relationship psychotherapist for today. In the twenty years since Mating in Captivity was published in 2006, it has become a global phenomenon, as has its author, Esther Perel. As a psychotherapist and thought leader, Perel is widely considered one of the world's most original and respected voices on erotic intelligence. Drawing on decades of clinical experience, Mating in Captivity examines the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit for freedom and passion. It illuminates the complexities of sustaining desire in long-term relationships and shows how more playful, adventurous, and even poetic sex is possible. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is practical, Perel's bold and provocative take on intimacy is ever more relevant today, asking: Why does great sex so often fade for couples who claim to love each other as much as ever? Why doesn't good intimacy guarantee good sex? Can we want what we already have? Why does the transition to parenthood so often spell erotic disaster? In a new preface, Perel reveals the personal origin story behind the book and reflects upon the many cultural shifts since its publication. This twentieth-anniversary edition invites us to reconsider the timeless paradoxical union of domesticity and desire--and offers a guide to bringing lust home. "For twenty years, Mating in Captivity has stood as one of the most honest explorations of modern love... In a world obsessed with image and performance, Esther keeps bringing us back to the truth of what it means to connect, to want, and to be seen."- Trevor Noah, comedian and author of New York Times bestseller Born a Crime "Esther embodies the exact qualities that make relationships strong - love, tenacity, honesty, and a ton of grace. Her embrace of our humanity - the beautiful and the disastrous - is why I turn to her work." - Brené Brown, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of Strong Ground

Mating in Captivity

Esther Perel, Esther

In Mating in Captivity, psychotherapist Esther Perel tackles the paradox of modern love. She explores why it's hard to want what you already have, even in the most committed and loving relationship. And teaches how you can reconcile domestic bliss with sexual excitement, and rekindle lost passion. As revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that could change the way you love and live.

Mating in Captivity

How to keep desire and passion alive in long-term relationships

Esther Perel

THE PHENOMENAL INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER FROM THE HOST OF HIT PODCAST 'WHERE SHOULD WE BEGIN' "Esther Perel is magic...What she knows about relationships, love, sex and everything in between will...inspire you and help you unlock all the answers you've been looking for." - Steven Bartlett "Esther Perel's greatest gift is her intuitive insight into the human heart and mind, she really blows me away." - Oprah Winfrey ---------------------------------------------------- A bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex in modern romance World-renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples, exploring the complex interplay between love and desire in long-term relationships. Can we desire what we already have? What does it take to keep lust alive? Drawing on over thirty years' experience counselling couples, Perel reconciles the erotic with the domestic, offering practical insights and advice for reigniting the spark that may have faded over time. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel shows us how we can foster and unlock the key to more exciting, playful and even poetic sex in long-term relationships. Smart, witty and explosively original, Mating in Captivity will transform the way you live and love. "Mating in Captivity...articulates a poignant and unacknowledged modern crisis for the first time." - The Evening Standard "Perel's ideas are like the chorus of a really good pop song - instantly familiar because they resonate deeply." - Observer

Mating in Captivity

Reconciling the Erotic + the Domestic

Esther Perel

Description unavailable for this volume in the current provider response.

Wild life

die Rückkehr der Erotik in die Liebe

Esther Perel

Description unavailable for this volume in the current provider response.

Mating in Captivity

Reconciling the Erotic + the Domestic

Esther Perel

Description unavailable for this volume in the current provider response.

Gender Outlaw

On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us

Kate Bornstein

Part coming-of-age story, part mind-altering manifesto on gender and sexuality, coming directly to you from the life experiences of a transsexual woman, Gender Outlaw breaks all the rules and leaves the reader forever changed.26 black-and-white illustrations.

Becoming Visible

Counseling Bisexuals Across the Lifespan

Beth A. Firestein

Becoming Visible offers cutting-edge psychological perspectives on bisexual and queer identities and the cultural and mental health issues facing bisexual, lesbian, gay, queer, and questioning individuals and their partners. Essential for any professional seeking to provide "best practice" services to this population, Becoming Visible addresses the therapeutic needs of bisexuals at every stage of the life cycle. This volume explores why some people resist identity labels and what bisexual men and women consider exemplary and harmful in their therapeutic experiences. It also helps practitioners distinguish between the stresses brought on by being part of a sexual minority and the clinical symptoms that indicate serious mental health issues. It includes research on ethnic minority bisexuals, youth, elders, gender-variant individuals, and bisexuals engaging in alternative lifestyles and sexual practices such as polyamory and BDSM. Edited by a psychologist who specializes in sexual-orientation and gender-identity issues and with contributions from scholars and professionals from multiple disciplines, the book embraces perspectives from the empirical to the phenomenological, and outlines both scientific and practice-based approaches to the subject while carefully considering the psychological, cultural, and spiritual dimensions of the issues confronting bisexual men and women. Becoming Visible is a crucial step in the improved mental health and well-being of bisexuals, transgender individuals, and other sexual minorities. This book offers a path toward awareness and compassion for those who seek to understand, treat, and empower this underserved and frequently misunderstood group of mental health clients.

Why I Hate Abercrombie & Fitch

Essays on Race and Sexuality

Dwight McBride

Reflections on the ways discriminatory hiring practices and racist ad campaigns seep into American life Why hate Abercrombie? In a world rife with human cruelty and oppression, why waste your scorn on a popular clothing retailer? The rationale, Dwight A. McBride argues, lies in “the banality of evil,” or the quiet way discriminatory hiring practices and racist ad campaigns seep into and reflect malevolent undertones in American culture. McBride maintains that issues of race and sexuality are often subtle and always messy, and his compelling new book does not offer simple answers. Instead, in a collection of essays about such diverse topics as biased marketing strategies, black gay media representations, the role of African American studies in higher education, gay personal ads, and pornography, he offers the evolving insights of one black gay male scholar. As adept at analyzing affirmative action as dissecting Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, McBride employs a range of academic, journalistic, and autobiographical writing styles. Each chapter speaks a version of the truth about black gay male life, African American studies, and the black community. Original and astute, Why I Hate Abercrombie & Fitch is a powerful vision of a rapidly changing social landscape.

True Nature

A Theory of Sexual Attraction

Michael R. Kauth

This volume presents an updated and truly interactionist theory of sexual attraction, in which biologically based erotic processing biases are continually exploited or challenged by social and cultural conditions. From this perspective, social orientation is viewed as a process rather than an outcome. The author takes an interdisciplinary approach that draws upon data from anthropology, sociology, gender studies, social constructionism, behavioral and developmental psychology, evolutionary biology, genetics, endocrinology, and cognitive functioning to support his theory. This text will be of interest to sexologists, evolutionary biologists, psychologists and other social scientists interested in human sexuality

Crip Theory

Cultural Signs of Queerness and Disability

Robert McRuer

McRuer makes a case that queer and disabled identities, politics, and cultural logics are inexorably intertwined, and that queer and disability theory need one another. Crip theory makes clear that no cultural analysis is complete without attention to the politics of bodily ability and 'alternative corporealities'.

Why We Love

The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love

Helen Fisher

A study of the origins of love probes the human brain for insights into the origins of the sex drive, romance, and attraction, while offering advice on how to channel these desires into healthy pursuits.

Summary Of The State of Affairs

Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel

Harold Hill

Gain a clear understanding of The State of Affairs by Esther Perel in this concise and insightful guide. This summary explores the complex dynamics of infidelity, desire, trust, and long-term relationships, examining why affairs happen and what they reveal about human connection. It breaks down key ideas about emotional vs. sexual betrayal, the role of intimacy and autonomy, and how couples can navigate rebuilding trust or redefining their relationships. Ideal for readers seeking a simplified overview, this companion summary captures the book’s core insights without replacing the original work.

Summary of The State of Affairs

Rethinking Infidelity Esther Perel Cityprint

Cityprnt

Summary of The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity; Esther PerelNOTE: This is a summary guide and is meant as a companion to, not a replacement for, the original book.THE BOOK: Thе State оf Affаіrѕ (2017) tасklеѕ the tоugh ѕubjесt of infidelity. Chеаtіng іѕ wіdеlу condemned as іmmоrаl, and уеt, аt ѕоmе point оr another, mаnу реорlе dо іt anyway. This bооk offers a frеѕh lооk аt іnfіdеlіtу and аѕkѕ a dіffісult ԛuеѕtіоn: Iѕ it ѕuсh a bаd thіng аftеr all?ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Eѕthеr Pеrеl іѕ a psychotherapist whо ѕресіаlіzеѕ іn modern-day lоvе, раrtnеrѕhір and dаtіng. Fоr оvеr a dесаdе, ѕhе has worked with a wide range оf couples, counseling them thrоugh еvеrу vаrіеtу оf еmоtіоnаl difficulty, frоm betrayal tо truѕt, іnfіdеlіtу tо fоrgіvеnеѕѕ. Shе аlѕо works as аn organizational соnѕultаnt, speaks nine languages аnd hоѕtѕ thе роdсаѕt Whеrе Should Wе Bеgіn? INTRODUCTION: Aѕk any Amеrісаn in a committed, mоnоgаmоuѕ rеlаtіоnѕhір, аnd ѕhе'll probably tеll уоu thе ѕаmе thing. Chеаtіng destroys truѕt. It'ѕ thе lоwеѕt blоw уоu could dеlіvеr - thе ultіmаtе form оf bеtrауаl. And уеt, mеаnwhіlе, mіllіоnѕ оf Amеrісаnѕ in соmmіttеd, monogamous rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ соntіnuе tо cheat. Evеn іf you can find еxаmрlеѕ оf іndіvіduаlѕ whо'vе rеmаіnеd uttеrlу fаіthful tо thеіr сurrеnt раrtnеrѕ, thе numbеr of adult Wеѕtеrnеrѕ whо'vе nеvеr cheated is low. So аrе unfаіthful partners evil? Or is іt perhaps thаt оur prevailing views on іnfіdеlіtу are іn need of ѕоmе rеvіѕіоn? Thеѕе blinks address thеѕе аnd оthеr соmрlеx questions, оffеrіng rеаl-lіfе еxаmрlеѕ to gіvе a сlеаrеr рісturе оf an оftеn murky ѕubjесt. This summary аlѕо еxрlаіn -how іnfіdеlіtу thrеаtеnѕ іdеntіtу; -why jеаlоuѕу іѕn't аll bаd; and -that, ѕоmеtіmеѕ, ѕесrесу іѕ the bеѕt policy.

Sexual Health

Foundations, Treatments, and Resources

Stephanie Baird, Wendy Stock, Katherine Hertlein

Discover inclusive, trauma-informed sexual health insights using science-based models and therapies. This comprehensive, science-based textbook is designed for upper-level college, graduate students, and professionals in psychology, psychotherapy, counseling, social work, and other related fields. Written from a gender-expansive, non-binary, and intersex-inclusive framework, the textbook integrates feminist research and intersectionality throughout its chapters, offering a positive and empowered approach to sexual health. It addresses a wide range of topics, including the Dual Control Model of sexual desire, developmental and aging sexual health, and non-monogamous relationships such as polyamory. Treatment strategies span eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), systemic approaches, medical interventions, and psychoeducation to address sexual health and treatment, with the potential impact of trauma as a central theme. Key Features: Builds competence in treating sexual issues using EMDR, CBT, systemic, and psychodynamic methods Includes client-ready handouts, case studies, anatomy diagrams, and tools for diverse learning needs Authored by leading experts with contributions from national and international specialists Instructor's Manual includes test banks, discussion questions, and chapter-based supplemental content

The Intimate Animal

The Science of Sex, Fidelity, and Why We Live and Die for Love

Justin R. Garcia

In an eye-opening exploration of the most powerful force that drives our species, Kinsey Institute Director Dr. Justin Garcia illuminates the mysteries of how we date, mate and navigate our love lives. "The best book on modern mating.” - David M. Buss, author of The Evolution of Desire. Why do we love who we love? Why do we stay in unfulfilling relationships, and stray from rewarding ones? Is it ever a good idea to open a relationship? How has the digital age impacted courtship? And why do some long-time couples crash and burn while others stay madly in love? In The Intimate Animal, one of the world’s leading experts on the science of love and sex answers these questions and more, taking readers on a journey through the lifecycle of a romantic relationship, from the thrill of first attraction to the devotion that lasts decades. Intimacy is core to the human condition, a key pillar of a loving relationship, and an evolutionary drive. In fact, Dr. Garcia reveals that the need for intimacy –even more than sex drive– is key to our species’ survival and flourishing. But therein lies the challenge. We evolved for social monogamy but not for sexual monogamy, yet these impulses are often at odds. Understanding this tension is the key to aligning our romantic choices with our true desires. Whether you're seeking that special someone, recovering from heartbreak, or trying to keep the passion alive, The Intimate Animal is the essential, research-backed guide to forging deeper, more intimate connections in these disconnected times.

I (Think) I Want Out

What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage

Becky Whetstone

I (Think) I Want Out is an essential couples guide that provides comprehensive information, answers, and guidance on how to navigate a marriage crisis. Among the 600,000 annual divorces that transpire within the United States, almost all of them begin with a marriage crisis. Whether your partner told you they want to leave the marriage, or you are wondering how to break the news that you want out, this breaking point can be filled with overwhelming emotions, worry about children becoming collateral damage, and ill-advised counseling that make navigating this process more frightening and confusing than it has to be. These heartbreaking times can propel couples into a state of fear, panic, and uncertainty about what steps they should take, sometimes leading them to divorce when reconciliation might have been possible. Known as the “Marriage Crisis Manager,” marriage and family therapist Becky Whetstone fills in these gaps by speaking to both partners on how to manage themselves and their relationship in the healthiest of ways, regardless of the eventual outcome. In I (Think) I Want Out, Whetstone’s coaching offers clear understanding on why everyone feels crazy and overwhelmed during one of life’s most difficult experiences. By promoting peacefulness and self-care, she emphasizes the importance of both partners slowing down throughout the process. With engaging exercises and worksheets, Whetstone organizes an intelligent plan so all parties can successfully manage the crisis in a way where smart, rational decision-making can take place, and mistakes are minimized. Some of the many useful strategies and insight Whetstone provides help couples understand: How the marriage crisis happened in the first place The stages of marital deterioration and how to diagnose the severity of the marriage crisis How our nervous system impacts the way we feel and influences our actions What factors to consider: mental and physical health, abuse, and addiction When it’s time to separate and how to do it peacefully in a way that avoids separation limbo and moves the couple forward toward the end goal of a definitive decision How to manage the crisis and possible divorce amicably, ensuring the best outcome for the children With the inclusion of useful templates that show couples how to separate in a way that encourages reconciliation and offer a plan for families whose intended divorce is done in a respectful way that encourages a good co-parenting relationship moving forward, this useful guide helps is an invaluable tool for any dissolution of a marriage.

How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind

Forget the Fairy Tale and Get Real

Todd Baratz, LMHC

A sanity-saving guide that cuts through the sky-high expectations of modern love and helps you build healthier and more fulfilling relationships, from the creator of viral Instagram account YourDiagnonsense “Witty, practical, fun, and deeply honest.”—Terrence Real, New York Times bestselling author of Us You’re not crazy. You’re human. Modern love is a mess and life is (spoiler alert!) very hard. Whether you’re in a committed relationship or on the apps, buckle up, there’s a lot to unlearn. How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind is your guide to sanity in a culture gone mad. Psychotherapist and sex therapist Todd Baratz blends sharp humor with raw insight as he challenges us to break every rule about love. It’s time to move beyond the relentless pursuit of the perfect partner, to challenge the stigma against neediness, and to rethink our obsession with diagnosing common challenges as disorders. Instead, he offers an empowering new perspective: Embrace challenges, feel deeply, make mistakes, learn, and grow. Drawing from his extensive experience as both a therapist and a patient, Baratz shares stories of navigating his personal traumas and guiding others through theirs. This book is an invitation to understand your life as part of a larger cultural narrative. It encourages you to delve into your history, cultivate self-awareness, and take responsibility in your relationships. By doing so, you can move beyond the fairy tale and transform your approach to love.